Self-confident people are generally more positive and believe in themselves and their abilities, whereas those with low self-confidence often have negative thoughts about themselves and their ability, which then leads to a downward spiral of under-achievement and disappointment.
It is important to assess this to understand yourself better and begin to find a way forward. Maybe you are confident with one or two close friends but not with strangers. It may be that you are confident with animals or children but not with adults.
- If you have low self confidence you may develop behaviours to manage this and avoid situations rather than risk any negative experience.
- You may have a range of negative feelings about yourself and others that won’t ease up as they seem to impacting on your daily life in differing ways, lessening your resilience.
Children who have been unable to make their needs understood or have not overcome difficulties they faced might feel there is no way forward or opportunities for them as an adult. Although the past may seem to have determined your current confidence level, self-confidence is a skill that can be developed through understanding and having realistic expectations. Everyone has their own strengths, abilities and skills to enhance their self-confidence and become who they want to eventually be.
Counselling can offer an opportunity to consider what is realistic and achievable and to explore disappointments and set-backs. Understanding set-backs and problems can be a first step to overcoming them
It is important to note, however, that the pressure you, or others, put on yourself to live up to expectations can lead to anxiety and bruised confidence, so developing self-confidence at the right pace for you is important